by Roy Battocchio
For years, Rose Corelli has seen to it that the ashes of her dearly
departed family members have been lovingly scattered in the family vegetable
garden behind the house. Nothing against cemeteries, but as she often says,
"Nothing beats keeping it in the family" But now she finds herself in a
confusing situation. Rashes of ashes seem to have popped up, and Rose is a
bit confused by the unexpected deluge. Laughs flow abundantly as a virtual who's who of ashes keep flowing in.
Cast of Characters
(In order of appearance)
EDDIE: A mail carrier in his
TOMMY CORELLI: Rose's son. 35. A
writer from California.
ROSE CORELLI: Tommy's Mother. A
large woman in her early sixties, she is the widowed matriarch of the
MARIE: Rose's daughter. 40.
PAULIE "THE PUG" PIRELLI: A
tough-looking, menacing figure in his early fifties with �connections to
DR. FLANKEN: In his eighties, he
is slightly unkempt, slow-moving, and always in a confused state.
GRANDMA: Rose's 98-year-old
Mother who lives in the attic. She speaks only from offstage, and only
in unintelligible Italian.
GERTRUDE: A totally self-centered
woman in her late fifties with flaming red hair.
ALBERT CORELLI: Rose's
brother-in-law and Gertrude's husband. A thin man in his sixties, still
feeling himself a ladies man.
Present day. The entire action takes place in the kitchen of
the Corelli home in Mount Vernon, New York�just on the outskirts of
Manhattan. The scene is an expansive, comfortable-looking kitchen.
The following set is recommended: There is a large
table center-stage with four chairs around it. Upstage center is the
familiar refrigerator, stove, sink, etc. A large window over the sink looks
out into a lovely backyard filled with assorted plantings and trees. A door,
upstage left leads to yard area. A door center-stage left leads to the
attic. An opening downstage left leads to the living room. Upstage right is
an unseen hallway which leads to the bedrooms. Center right, is a doorway
which leads to the garage. Downstage right is a small, unseen hallway
leading to the front door.
is the sequel to his other Corelli family comedy...
Thicker Than Water!
Also available from this Playwright