|Who Pushed Humpty Dumpty
by Tim Ryan
The Good Guys
Sgt. Joe/Jo Bundy:
He/She is a 17-year veteran of
the Storybookland Police Department, in charge of finding out who pushed Humpty
Dumptyalways very serious about their work. This part has a lot of lines.
Actor/Actress must be a very good reader as well as remembering lines.
Detective Bill Gimble:
He is a first year detective
of the Storybookland Police Department and Sgt. Joe Bundy's partner. He has a temper at
times, and like all people who are new to their job Det. Gimble makes some mistakes. He is
not too bright. This part has a lot of lines. Actor/Actress must be very good reader as
well as remembering lines.
Officer Jack: This is the same Jack that has
a large beanstalk growing in his yard. Jack is a police officer with the Storybookland
Police Department. He assists Sgt. Bundy & Det. Gimble in questioning the suspects in
the investigation of Humpty Dumpty's fall. Quite a few lines, many of which are funny.
Actor/Actress must be very good reader as well as remembering lines.
The 3 Little Pigs (Officers Bacon, O' Ham & McSwiney):
After their ordeal with the Big Bad Wolf, the 3 Little Pigs have become cops sworn to
uphold justice from bad guys like the Wolf. They help Bundy & Gimble in the
investigation. ONE LINE, but the 3 Little Pigs do a lot of funny things on stage for most
of the show. Very Important roles!
Miss Mary Mary: She is a local
gardenerquite contrary. Humpty Dumpty was her landlord. She is a good friend of the
Dumpty family. Detective Bill Gimble has a big crush on her. Moderate amount of lines.
The Big Bad Wolf: The prime suspect, he is
the crime boss of Storybookland. Every crime in the city is usually thought to be caused
by him. The Big Bad Wolf pretends to be an honest restauranteur with his "Bow Wow
Club". A very funny role. Actor/Actress must be big in size. The role has many lines.
Actor/Actress MUST also be able to speak with a "New York" accent.
The Little Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe: She
never liked Humpty Dumpty, her landlord. She had many gripes with him. She is little and
very feisty & mad all the time. A very funny role. Actress MUST be able to scream
loudly and clearly. Medium amount of lines.
Wee Willy Winkie: A nerdy guy who does
nothing but run all over town, upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown. Medium amount of
The Spider: People have never liked the
spider after he scared Little Miss Muffett. This has made him nervous & shy, a
stutterer. A very funny role. Medium amount of lines.
Jack & Jill: Brother and sister, they
were suing Humpty Dumpty for medical bills after they fell down the hill Humpty owned.
Medium amount of lines.
Mrs. Dumpty: She is the wife of the victim
and may have a dark past. Actress must be big in size. Medium amount of lines.
Simple Simon: He is goon who works for the
Big Bad Wolf. He is not very smart. A few lines. Actor/Actress must be able to act dumb.
Tiny Tom Thumb: Works for the Big Bad Wolf
helping to run the Bow Wow Club. A few lines.
Goldilocks: Is a reporter for the Storybookland News Network (SNN).
She is always trying to get the real story. Medium amount of lines. Very serious. Actress
MUST be a good reader.
Little Jack Horner: Is a reporter for the Storybookland Sentinel. He
is not very well liked by many because of the sleazy ways he gets a story. Medium amount
Baby-Bear: Is a cameraman for Goldilocks. A few lines. Always onstage
Blinkin works for the law firm of
& Nod. He/She is the Big Bad Wolf's lawyer and the main reason the Big Bad Wolf is not
in jail. A medium amount of lines. Actor/Actress MUST be a good reader.
Peter Peter Pumpkineater: Is a waiter who works at the Big Bad
Wolf's club. He loves to eat Pumpkin pie, which gets him into trouble with the Big Bad
Wolf. A few lines. Has funny scene with the Big Bad Wolf.
King's Man: He is the member of the King's men who is interviewed
by Goldilocks. A few lines.
Female Customer: She is a women who has a unpleasant experience at
the Big Bad Wolf's restaurant. A few lines.
Children Who Live In A Shoe: 9 parts, each child of the
old woman has approximately 3 lines eachBilly; Johnny; Marty; Sally; Oldest Child;
Child 1; Child 2; Child 3 and Child 4
More Children Who Lived In a Shoe
Bystanders At The Crime Scene
Customers At The Bow Wow Club
It looked like a horrible accident, but upon further investigation,
it turned out to be an even more horrible crime. Local businessman Humpty Dumpty was
indeed dead of a fall from his wall. With the assistance of Officers OHam,
Bacon and McSwiney (The 3 Little Pigs) and Officer Jack (The one with a beanstalk in his
yard), Storybookland Police detectives Sgt. Joe Bundy and Rookie detective Bill Gimble
have their work cut out for them. The suspects include The Big Bad Wolf
(Storybooklands Crime Boss), Jack and Jill (who were suing Mr. Dumpty for their
fall), Wee Willie Winkie, The Spider (of Little Miss Muffet fame), The Old Woman Who Lived
in a Shoe
not to mention Mrs. Dumpty, herself. Who Pushed Humpty Dumpty?
is an original childrens whodunnit comedy.
"Chock full of twisted tales and slick remarks,
shaped by [Ryans] quick wit and avant garde style." - American Journal, 3/11/98
About this Playwright
Tim Ryan made his playwriting and directorial debut in the
winter of 1998 at Windham Center Stage Theater with
Who Pushed Humpty Dumpty?
The popular and financial success of the production led to subsequent
productions of the play being performed by several community theaters and schools
throughout Northern New England. Many of the productions have broken box office and
attendance records. Mary O'Leary & The Leprechauns of Ballybunn Village was Tim's second original play to be produced. The play made it's
premiere at Windham Center Stage Theater in March 2001 to public and critical acclaim.
While honeymooning in Ireland, Tim was inspired to write the script, by the humor and
charm of the locals, the beautiful scenery as well as the many legends, which the country
is famous for. Sanford Maine Stage Theater also produced the play again with much acclaim
in the summer of 2002. Tim is also a professional actor. In the short time since his
first audition, he has accumulated many production credits as an actor, producer, director
and playwright. He has appeared in wide range of local stage character roles and
commercials in Maine. Nationally, Tim made his motion picture debut playing the feature
comedic part of Brian (aka Buster) the drunken busboy in the HBOfilms production
of Empire Falls. The film is based upon the Pulitzer Prize winning novel of the
same name. Tim shares many scenes with such world acclaimed stars Ed Harris, Helen Hunt,
Paul Newman, Joanna Woodward and Aidan Quinn just to name a few. Since 2002 Tim has
directed Freeport High School's One Act Drama competition pieces. In this capacity Tim
became one of the only few people in the world to have directed a officially sanctioned
stage version of Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail, a play adapted by the
Freeport High School students based on the hit movie. Word quickly spread of the
shows both critical & commercial success. As they prepared for their shows
national debut, the production team behind the Broadway version of the movie titled
Spamalot (which included Oscar-winning director Mike Nichols & Monty
Pythons Eric Idle) requested all materials related to the Freeport High production.
They wanted to see how such classic scenes such as The Black Knight, Trojan Rabbit and
Killer Rabbit scenes were achieved on a $500 budget. Tim has also written and directed
comedic instructional videos for IT companies.
"The Secret Egg-gent" by Bruce Oksol
Read "Who Pushed Humpty Dumpty?" and then read Joseph Conrad's "The
Secret Agent." You will never be able to read "The Secret Agent" again
without thinking of "Who Pushed Humpty Dumpty?" This is a great little book
for reading on an "across-the-continent" or "across-the-pond" flight. This
little gem will take your mind off all your worries; it's guaranteed to make
you laugh out loud. Very, very clever, and highly recommended.