ABC: A Bureaucratic Comedy  by William Arnold


Winner of Best Play, Best Director, Best Director  & an Audience Appreciation Award 1985 Eastern Connecticut State University One-Act Play Contest, Shafer Auditorium

"Highly innovative, original...makes for a witty piece of adult comedy." - Susan Wain, The Campus Lantern


Deep in the bowels of a nondescript government office, three bureaucrats from The Department of Great Thinkers Thinking Great Thoughts run our country. Every thought comes directly from these near geniuses. The problem is, of course, that these are bureaucrats and they don't ever produce anything - including thoughts! The lowly night janitor discovers their lair and hilarity ensues. A timely commentary on government in action, or inaction, as the case might be. We think.


Cast of Characters: 4 Persons

  • 1)

  • 2)

  • 3)


Also available from this Playwright

ABC: A Bureaucratic Comedy by William Arnold
ISBN #1-933159-014; JAC #2004-0002


$30/performance royalty

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ABC, directed by Nate Gallup and Justin Nardine
at Eastern Connecticut State University's "Short Stuff 2005," Sargent Theatre, NYC.

Pictured: Simon Hunt, Travis Baril, Nicole Dutram, & Scott Stephen Kegler
Read an Excerpt

<At rise, three people sit in a group, almost huddled together.  The scene is a non-descript room, somewhere in Washington, DC.>

1): Well, what do you think?

2): I think the same as you.  <To 3> What do you think?

3): I think we should think on it.

1): I concur.

2): As do I.

3): And I of course, agree.


2): Why should you do anything but agree?  You were the suggestor?

1): That is true.

 3): I�m sorry.  It�s just that you all were agreeing, and you know how I hate to be left out.

1): I understand.

2): As do I.

3): And I...  Oops!  Isn�t it incredible the ruts we can fall into?

1): It is.

2): Yes, it is.

<Long pause>

 3): <Breaking the silence & surprising the others.>  But, back to what we were originally thinking about� I think we should think on it.

 1): That is what you said.

2): Yes, that�s correct.

3): Thank you.  <Pause.>  Do you still concur?

1): Of course.

2): Without a doubt.

3): Then it�s agreed... Shall we think?

2): Oh, let�s do.

1): Yes, without delay.

<A short pause.  All three lean forward & assume the �thinker� position.>


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